The Cliffs of Mohr, Co. Clare, Ireland

Most people who know me know that I am an Ireland fanatic. What most of those people don't know is that this love and obsession started with a song.

The song is by the Chieftains and it can be found on their Live from Belfast cd-which incidentally was the first cd that I or my family ever owned and was also the my first taste of Irish traditional music. Its title, Opening Medley, belies what it really contain in its 9 plus minutes. I was ten years old when I first heard it and I can still vividly remember those feelings that the song generated. My heart felt so big and I felt the blood run through my veins. I was smiling and dreaming and wanting nothing more than to just go crazy and dance. All of sudden I could see and feel what Ireland was and I was completely enamored.

The closest I can come to describing it is that its a lot like realizing that you love someone and they love you back. Like nothing could be wrong in the world because you have this amazing feeling inside. Its awe and happiness wrapped into one. I had never heard music like this before. It was an inspiration, not just a reason or cause for dancing.

It begins with a slow and achingly beautiful melody, then without warning the tempo suddenly shifts and the musicians have turned the song into a ride through the country, quicker and lighter and as powerful as the beginning. Then finally, in another unexpected turn, the song is a frenzied dance, with dancers gasping for air trying to catch up with the pace set by the musicians. One thing you will notice when listening to the Chieftains is that those old guys really know how to play.

The moment that the song crescendoed in the second minute, when I could hear the hard shoes of the Irish step dancer slam against the floor in time with the ultra cool Uilleann pipes, I knew I was truly and utterly hooked for life. When the song ended, we demanded that my dad let us play it again and then again after that. And whats more, I wanted more of Ireland. I had never in my life before thought about Ireland with anything more than in relation to a half hearted desire to get a decent grade on my geography test. I knew that my mom's maiden name was Irish and her first name (Darby) was about the most Irish name there was-except maybe Paddy-but I had never until that moment felt connected to my heritage. After listening to that song, Ireland was the only dream I had. I know it sounds nutty but my life became about going to Ireland someday. Before I even knew there was such a thing as Study Abroad I had already decided that I was going to live in Ireland.

Fast forward to my freshman year of college. Now I am 19 years old, significantly older than the girl who listened to the Chieftains and pledged her life to going to Ireland and listening to the music live, but still, incredibly, obsessed. How many 19 year olds do you know who still want the same things they wanted when they were 10? Most people wanted to go abroad so they could drink and be even farther away from their parents. I was going to listen to music. But I didn't care. I was (am) obsessed after all. And because I was so driven (because I was obsessed), I was in my second semester as a Freshman calling up the Study Abroad office to schedule an appointment with the dean and planning where in Ireland I was going to be. No doubt the people working in that office thought I was off my rocker. But they had no idea how long I had been holding onto this dream.

It became pretty clear that I was going to Galway town in County Galway, which is located on the west coast of the tiny island and about a four hour drive from the country's capital Dublin. The university there was the only one in Ireland that was directly affiliated with my home university. I did some research and I soon found out that the lack of choice was not going to hurt me. Galway is the city for craic (meaning “good times” in Gaelic). Not even Dublin has the same rep as Galway. Not to mention (and this was certainly news to gladden my heart), it was also the center for Irish traditional music. Guidebook after guidebook promised that where ever I went in the town I was sure to stumble upon some quality jam sessions. Needless to say, I was stoked!

I had a lot of fun at school my Sophomore year but always at the back of my mind was that the dream of Ireland was getting closer and closer. Pretty soon I would not have to imagine it, it would be my reality and more importantly my home for 5 ½ months. I had random moments of exhilaration that that thought brought me. I would be sitting in the library studying for finals and all of a sudden I would remember that I was actually going to Ireland. In an instant, the same feelings I had when I first listened to Opening Medley would come rushing back. That feeling of exhilaration is still with me to this day.

Bennett Lake, Carcross, Yukon Territory

Last night I got in touch with my sad lack of creativity and self expression. And once I really got what was missing, I decided that I wanted it back. Immediately I knew what I had to do. The most ridiculous, the most unreasonable thing I could do to reclaim that important part of myself was to write a book about all the places I have been and lived. Just like that. I declared this to a friend of mine and just saying it made me feel exhilarated and really terrified. What happens if in a month I get lazy? This after all was going to be my opportunity to get that passion for creating back into my life. What happens if I never did anything?

Thanks for sharing voice in my head. I'm hanging up now.

I have always worried that if I ever wrote down a story from my point of view that it would come off sounding elitist or (even worse) sappy and sentimental. I always worried that I would never be good enough and that people would think that I was full of it. In the last couple of months I have really gotten acquainted with how these “beliefs” have sabotaged my creativity and self expression. Because there was always someone better (and therefore I could not be the best) I never bothered to keep up with my writing or take more pictures or even try out new recipes for Pete's sake. These were reasons I told myself were true and they were to blame for not being my true complete self. In reality, it was a conscious decision I made so that I would not have to look bad. In other words, it is no one else's fault but my own that my creative side has become submissive and wimpy.

Well screw that. I've got a lot to say and I'm going to say it!

My boyfriend Rick would tell you that I am always watching the travel and food networks. If he doesn't already have the tv on those channels, I help myself to the remote and make the change myself. Poor guy, he doesn't really have a choice in the matter.

Cooking shows are so mesmerizing with the soft lighting and the even softer background music. And the food looks good too. I am often reminded of growing up and the moments right before dinner when I could practically taste (and sometimes I did) whatever awesome concoction my mom had put together for us. When I watch the travel shows, I wistfully sigh with each passing picture of a place I have never been but really hope to go someday. During all this, I watch the hosts, scrutinizing their every move, telling the television with not a little resentment, “I could do that!” or “Why did they hire her? I would be so much better at this and enjoy it more!” Rick thinks this is hilarious.

Since I cannot be on TV (yet!), I will start honing my skills in preparation for that much thought of FUTURE time. I am going to write a book!

Here's to being unreasonable!