The Cliffs of Mohr, Co. Clare, Ireland

Most people who know me know that I am an Ireland fanatic. What most of those people don't know is that this love and obsession started with a song.

The song is by the Chieftains and it can be found on their Live from Belfast cd-which incidentally was the first cd that I or my family ever owned and was also the my first taste of Irish traditional music. Its title, Opening Medley, belies what it really contain in its 9 plus minutes. I was ten years old when I first heard it and I can still vividly remember those feelings that the song generated. My heart felt so big and I felt the blood run through my veins. I was smiling and dreaming and wanting nothing more than to just go crazy and dance. All of sudden I could see and feel what Ireland was and I was completely enamored.

The closest I can come to describing it is that its a lot like realizing that you love someone and they love you back. Like nothing could be wrong in the world because you have this amazing feeling inside. Its awe and happiness wrapped into one. I had never heard music like this before. It was an inspiration, not just a reason or cause for dancing.

It begins with a slow and achingly beautiful melody, then without warning the tempo suddenly shifts and the musicians have turned the song into a ride through the country, quicker and lighter and as powerful as the beginning. Then finally, in another unexpected turn, the song is a frenzied dance, with dancers gasping for air trying to catch up with the pace set by the musicians. One thing you will notice when listening to the Chieftains is that those old guys really know how to play.

The moment that the song crescendoed in the second minute, when I could hear the hard shoes of the Irish step dancer slam against the floor in time with the ultra cool Uilleann pipes, I knew I was truly and utterly hooked for life. When the song ended, we demanded that my dad let us play it again and then again after that. And whats more, I wanted more of Ireland. I had never in my life before thought about Ireland with anything more than in relation to a half hearted desire to get a decent grade on my geography test. I knew that my mom's maiden name was Irish and her first name (Darby) was about the most Irish name there was-except maybe Paddy-but I had never until that moment felt connected to my heritage. After listening to that song, Ireland was the only dream I had. I know it sounds nutty but my life became about going to Ireland someday. Before I even knew there was such a thing as Study Abroad I had already decided that I was going to live in Ireland.

Fast forward to my freshman year of college. Now I am 19 years old, significantly older than the girl who listened to the Chieftains and pledged her life to going to Ireland and listening to the music live, but still, incredibly, obsessed. How many 19 year olds do you know who still want the same things they wanted when they were 10? Most people wanted to go abroad so they could drink and be even farther away from their parents. I was going to listen to music. But I didn't care. I was (am) obsessed after all. And because I was so driven (because I was obsessed), I was in my second semester as a Freshman calling up the Study Abroad office to schedule an appointment with the dean and planning where in Ireland I was going to be. No doubt the people working in that office thought I was off my rocker. But they had no idea how long I had been holding onto this dream.

It became pretty clear that I was going to Galway town in County Galway, which is located on the west coast of the tiny island and about a four hour drive from the country's capital Dublin. The university there was the only one in Ireland that was directly affiliated with my home university. I did some research and I soon found out that the lack of choice was not going to hurt me. Galway is the city for craic (meaning “good times” in Gaelic). Not even Dublin has the same rep as Galway. Not to mention (and this was certainly news to gladden my heart), it was also the center for Irish traditional music. Guidebook after guidebook promised that where ever I went in the town I was sure to stumble upon some quality jam sessions. Needless to say, I was stoked!

I had a lot of fun at school my Sophomore year but always at the back of my mind was that the dream of Ireland was getting closer and closer. Pretty soon I would not have to imagine it, it would be my reality and more importantly my home for 5 ½ months. I had random moments of exhilaration that that thought brought me. I would be sitting in the library studying for finals and all of a sudden I would remember that I was actually going to Ireland. In an instant, the same feelings I had when I first listened to Opening Medley would come rushing back. That feeling of exhilaration is still with me to this day.

Bennett Lake, Carcross, Yukon Territory

Last night I got in touch with my sad lack of creativity and self expression. And once I really got what was missing, I decided that I wanted it back. Immediately I knew what I had to do. The most ridiculous, the most unreasonable thing I could do to reclaim that important part of myself was to write a book about all the places I have been and lived. Just like that. I declared this to a friend of mine and just saying it made me feel exhilarated and really terrified. What happens if in a month I get lazy? This after all was going to be my opportunity to get that passion for creating back into my life. What happens if I never did anything?

Thanks for sharing voice in my head. I'm hanging up now.

I have always worried that if I ever wrote down a story from my point of view that it would come off sounding elitist or (even worse) sappy and sentimental. I always worried that I would never be good enough and that people would think that I was full of it. In the last couple of months I have really gotten acquainted with how these “beliefs” have sabotaged my creativity and self expression. Because there was always someone better (and therefore I could not be the best) I never bothered to keep up with my writing or take more pictures or even try out new recipes for Pete's sake. These were reasons I told myself were true and they were to blame for not being my true complete self. In reality, it was a conscious decision I made so that I would not have to look bad. In other words, it is no one else's fault but my own that my creative side has become submissive and wimpy.

Well screw that. I've got a lot to say and I'm going to say it!

My boyfriend Rick would tell you that I am always watching the travel and food networks. If he doesn't already have the tv on those channels, I help myself to the remote and make the change myself. Poor guy, he doesn't really have a choice in the matter.

Cooking shows are so mesmerizing with the soft lighting and the even softer background music. And the food looks good too. I am often reminded of growing up and the moments right before dinner when I could practically taste (and sometimes I did) whatever awesome concoction my mom had put together for us. When I watch the travel shows, I wistfully sigh with each passing picture of a place I have never been but really hope to go someday. During all this, I watch the hosts, scrutinizing their every move, telling the television with not a little resentment, “I could do that!” or “Why did they hire her? I would be so much better at this and enjoy it more!” Rick thinks this is hilarious.

Since I cannot be on TV (yet!), I will start honing my skills in preparation for that much thought of FUTURE time. I am going to write a book!

Here's to being unreasonable!

More pictures from our new home!

1. Gasworks Park, Wallingford-->only in Seattle would the folks recycle an old gas plant into a park, and a PLAYGROUND!
2. The view of Lake Union from Gasworks Park.
3. Our very own neighborhood biker bar!
4. Its a Polaroid camera acting as a soapbox car! (Fremont Soap Box Race)
5. Posing with one of the sleeker models. (Fremont Soap Box Race)
6. The Washington Arboretum....
7. Ohohhhh-->pretty! (Washington Arboretum)
8. Downtown Seattle from across Lake Union (on a rare clear day!)

...The pictures really don't justify just how beautiful it is here. But I will continue to try:)
P.S. I started my new job this past week!

I have not been able to write consistently since I came back from Finland-more than a year ago-reminding me of the diaries that my mom use to give us every year for Christmas.

Every year, my mom gave her kids a new diary to write in and every year, we would start out the new year with the belief that this year we would be faithful to it. By March, the diary was long forgotten. For me, the reason I stopped writing was because I felt so whiny recounting the details of my life. I was told that you should never read what you have written because you will become too self conscious of yourself, thereby voiding the whole therapeutic experience of writing. Well I did it anyway. And so I never was able to faithfully keep a diary.

My mom and I chatted a bit today and she reminded me again that I had not updated this blog in several months. Hearing that I realized something about writing in diaries/blogs/journals/etc. I did not have to be about my inner turmoil (boring!) but like an Annie New Service (ANS for short). If no one appreciates this blog but my mom, that would be OK.

So here it goes another try!

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The view of the Olympic Range and the Ballard Canal from our apartment in Fremont (the so called Center of the Universe)

Well, its official. I am quitting my job and moving out of NYC. Rick and I have decided that this town just isn't for us. If you know me, you know that after college I was never quite happy with the city...maybe it was the commuting on the subways, or the constant noise (probably both)...either way I have had my fill of New York City. I cannot wait to leave! There are sad things about leaving though...I will be leaving a wonderfully full filling job and many close friendships. Every time I am around my friends these days, I get very sad and almost think about staying. But I think my friends want me to stay sane so...I will go!

So where are we headed? That was a question that we thought through and through many times. For me, I have really come to understand in the last month or so that I really wanted to be somewhere that was going to be beautiful and accessible-meaning that we could do a lot of outdoor activities. We had heard a lot of good things about Portland, Oregon and thought that it might be worth a look. The big negative against going to Portland was that we did not know anyone there. After much conversation, we decided that we are going to try and move to Seattle...a city that is far far away from New York and feels like it too! Its green and lush and everyone is so laid back. And contrary to popular belief, Seattle is not the rainiest (in terms of actual accumulation) city in the US. It does however rain the most often:) But I don't mind. I lived in Ireland for six months and loved every second of the rain there...I think that Seattle has a very similar climate to the Ireland coast where I studied abroad. That is just fine to me! The idea of being there, and being able to be surrounded by water and Mt. Rainer...ah that just fills me to the brim with excitement. Woot!

In other news, I went to visit Meghan in Montana. The trip there was an ordeal (in that it took forever) but it was so great to see Meghan in as close to her element as I have ever seen her. Her friends and her life there suit her to the tee. I am so jealous that she is constantly surrounded by all those lovely mountains...that she can go hiking or to the hot springs or camping...that's where I felt my kinship with the land of my birth. I really felt connected, that I belonged there. At one point, Meghan and I went to Georgetown Lake. I knew (and not because I had been told but because I actually remembered) that I had been there before. It was a really odd sensation. I grew up so far away from all of this but there was a part of me that still remembered and really loved being where my parents and siblings and I had spent a lot of time twenty years ago. Ahh...good times!

Above are some pictures from my trip to The Big Sky State.
1. Meghan climbs Waterworks Hill in Missoula.
2. Don't worry Mom, we won't be anywhere never bears;) ...on the hike to Holland Falls.
3. The view from Holland Falls.
4. Meghan and I pause on the (treacherous) trail to some hot springs.
5. Georgetown Lake
6. The Historic Willa movie theatre in downtown Missoula.

No pictures again, sorry guys! Has anyone else noticed that I end up doing the exact opposite of what I say I am going to do with this blog? Oh well. Makes it more interesting for you the reader.

This weekend Rick and I went to DC to visit with the folks and to celebrate Easter. While we were there, I went to a book store and bought three new books-I cannot remember the last time I bought new books. Call me spoiled, but I had gotten used to Meghan just handing me a book to read. Now that that is not so easy anymore, I have been trying to collect my own books. On this trip I bought The Road by Cormac McCarthy, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. In my current state of mind, I really am interested in reading non-fiction, especially if it concerns the author's journey through something difficult and vague-meaning there is no instruction manual for what you are going through.

The Anne Lamott book was a recommendation from Meghan (who actually told me to read the book sometime last year...well I am a little slow). I cannot put it down! Its so amazing and just right for me. Its like when I started going to the "Miracle Mass" in Finley where every Sunday I left feeling as though I had just had a conversation with God about my life. My roommates and I often joked afterwards that Father O'Malley was listening at our door during the week, getting his ideas for his sermon from our lives. While Anne Lamott's life is not a mirror image of mine, I do feel a very strong connection to her journey towards accepting faith and all that comes with it. She writes with such honesty about how hard it is to feel faith, to give up her power to someone/something else, to be led. When I am reading her book, I feel such relief and whats more, I feel a burden being lifted from me-this is how it felt to go to those "Miracle Masses".

I feel like I am speeding through this book and soon it will be over. This makes me really sad. I both love and hate that feeling, when you are reading something really wonderful and because of that you just cannot put the book down. I have this image of me forty years in the future, carrying this ragged and worn book around with me where ever I go...it would be like my version of the Bible, underlined, highlighted and ready whenever I need to refer back to it in a crisis:)

Good recommendation Meghan!

So a couple of months ago a friend invited us to this "meetup" where everyone was playing boggle. Even though I did not really like playing boggle (probably because I sucked at it;) I thought the premise of getting people together who enjoyed the same activities was brillant. I went online (www.meetup.com-now one of my favorite links) to see what other kinds of meetups were going on in the city and discovered (yay!!) a post-collegiate women's lacrosse team. I cannot tell you how exciting this was for me. Long story short (well ok, its already been a longish story), I have started playing lacrosse again! Hooray:) I am really out of shape but I just don't give a hoot.

In other news, Rick and I bought a Nintendo Wii! Wee!!
I am going to DC for my mom's birthday and Easter this weekend.